And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
