After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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