never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
