On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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