Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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