Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
