at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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