Already got asked if we're dating
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
