im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
