Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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