So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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