Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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