Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
