the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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