I met the friendliest cop last night
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
