Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
