I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
