the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
