Nicole vs. Life
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
