Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
