Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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