operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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