it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
