yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
