yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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