Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize