fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
