I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
