Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
