I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
