It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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