Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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