And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
