sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize