Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
