You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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