I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
