I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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