is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
