I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm really into asian looking animals
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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