I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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