i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize