Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
