Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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