She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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