I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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