We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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