Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
