Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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