I've blown a few things in my day
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
