I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
