my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize