I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
