then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
