do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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