i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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