I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
