the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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