they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
