guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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