Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
