I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
