that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Pants 0. Shit 1.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
