The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
