If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
